Today was a wonderful day. I didn’t do anything spectacular or earth-shattering, but I did do something that was, well, in a word, wonderful. I spent the day with my daughter. And it was worth the spending…we had a glorious brunch together at Black Bear Bistro in Warrenton. (Shameless plug for it: www.blackbearbistro and it is amazing! Farm to fork, fresh! In the category of “nommy” it is the NOMMIEST.) I had bagel and cream cheese with gravelox (smoked salmon), and the incidental garnish was fresh (and sweet) pineapple and fresh blueberries. We shared a smoked crab and cheese dip on crunchy hot bread. She had a club hoagie and the husband had something they call the “Concordia”–imagine a Monte Cristo (essentially a French Toast sandwich) but instead of turkey, ham and swiss, it’s filled with chopped roast beef and ground beef (all free range, grass fed beef) in a marinara sauce. First bite, it’s like oh Sloppy Joe but wait a minute, no it’s not. Words fail me to describe it; it must be experienced. We also tried the multigrain waffle–still light and fluffy while filled with whole grain goodness.
We then came home and spent the rest of the afternoon chatting and almost more importantly, getting more things sorted and moved around. We moved in last November and while it’s not *quite* as bad as when we first started, it still looks like more shit than this bag was meant to hold. In our defense, we did go from a 3 bedroom down to a 1 bedroom–and well, we’ve been sick lately. So it was a great blessing to have her move boxes and take out trash and sort stuff to open up some more real estate. We really do have wall to wall carpeting and we are gradually reclaiming it.
She is seriously contemplating moving back to VA and after the fabulous brunch, particularly thinking about living in Warrenton. I think the food had something do with it, although she did indicate that the charm of Old Town Warrenton attracted her. It would be totally awesome to have her (and by association, our granddaughter) living closer than MD. I am very happy that my daughter and I are friends. Related by circumstances and family by chance but definitely friends by choice. And I’ve missed having her around because she’s fun, intelligent, good to talk to, and generally pleasant to be with. She’s also doing a wonderful job raising her daughter and I’d like to think that I had some little part of that…although I saw how she disciplined her dog and I wasn’t worried about her parenting skills. (So get miffed, but really? Training a dog and raising a child have a GREAT deal in common. If you can do one well, you can do the other one pretty well, too. Although the cops do get unhappy if you crate your children to go out for the day, no matter how much food or water you leave with them.)
It is no small matter of pride to see how well she is doing in the world. She holds a job, cares for her child, is a responsible human being…it doesn’t matter that she has had to change course midstream, so to speak…first with the discovery of being asthmatic which prevented a Navy career path and then the normal changes a child brings to anyone’s life, the stuff you can’t prepare for but have to handle. And while she was always the child who had to do it the hardest possible way, she has persevered each time. Stubborness runs deep in our family and she is blessed with more than her fair share. 🙂 Hemingway referred to it as “grace under pressure” and she does indeed maintain her grace even in the face of the most trying times. I suppose as her mother I could say that life has not been fair to her, but both of my children know that you don’t say that “f” word in front of me. Life is NOT fair. And she doesn’t expect it to be. In that way, she’s miles ahead of most people who expect some sort of parity in their experience.
It was a deeply satisfying day, to reconnect with her even as I missed seeing my granddaughter who stayed home with her father–specifically so that we could have our own mother-daughter time. No drama, no earth-shattering topic of conversation, just the gentle pleasure of small talk, the kind that fills the chinks of our souls, the small bites of normal living that bind us together in a more profound way than the greatest crisis faced or roaring emotional storm weathered can ever hope to do. A normal day, a gentle day, nothing to write home about…but something to write about and share with you to remind you that our lives are made of such normal and gentle days, the small talk and trivial chatter of “this’n’that” and they are, after all, worth noting. Consider today so noted. Thank you, my darling daughter. Thank you, most benevolent Universe for giving us this day.