Friday Night Musings

Well, we may have found the right cocktail of drugs and the right way to take them.  I am taking both Cymbalta and Lyrica, but had been taking one of each in the morning and at night.  So now I am taking both Cymbalta for sleeping (nighttime) and both Lyrica for liveliness (daytime).  OK, it’s a stupid mnemonic, but I can keep it straight that way.  Get over it.  I also take one Vicodin the in the morning, but have really backed off on needing them throughout the day.  Unless something happens, like that crazy derecho weather thing couple of weeks ago–or if I try to do too much.

I still tire easily, but generally, I am feeling better.  Been doing some cooking and made a kick ass chili this past week.  Three kinds of peppers and LOTS of meat (ground beef and finely chopped steak).  Now if only the dish fairies would come…I am NOT keeping up with the dirty dishes, even with technology (dishwasher) to help me.  Sigh.  It’s the one task I sincerely hate and would almost rather have a root canal than have to do.  But since no one else is going to do it, guess I’ll have to be the dish fairy all by myself! LOL

Seems like we’ve been living in the car…between Tuesdays into Manassas to see the chiropractor and get my disability check, then deposit it.  And let me take a moment to talk about my chiropractor.  His name is Dr. Lincoln German, his practice is called Spine Care of Manassas and he is AWESOME!  Not only does he crack, fold, spindle and mutilate me (and my beloved) but he is very aware of our money situation (or really, the lack thereof) and he is essentially taking care of us for free.  Oh I suppose someday, when we have money again (sigh) we will be paying him back–but he does not have to see us while we can’t even make our copay.  THAT, my friends, is a doctor to trust.  If you need to be cracked, he’s the one to do it!

So we see him on Tuesdays.  We also have to travel 2 hours to Fishersville to see Beloved’s doctor for about 10 minutes and then drive another 2 hours home.  Fortunately, it’s a lovely drive.  But it does mean a lot of time in the car.  We rode to Warrenton today to pick up his new meds and had a bite to eat on the cheap at the Frost Diner–the only place that’s open 24 hours a day for like miles around.  Fortunately, the food is pretty good–I mean, it’s diner food, but hey, where else are you gonna get a steak and cheese at 3 am in the morning?

I rearranged my desk this week, which involved dusting out all the shelves as I moved things around.  Slightly more organized and the meds are a tad more inconspicuous.  I’m have to fill out paperwork for long term disability (LTD) since the short term is running out on the 8th of this month.  And I’m also filling out the paperwork to apply to Social Security for permanent disability(SSDI).  Surprisingly, LTD may actually help me get SSDI.  And while we’ve already got a lawyer to help us with the SSDI process, the LTD insurance will provide (at no cost to me) an advocate to help me file for it.  So we’ll see how this goes.  The bitch of the matter is, the paperwork that my doctor is supposed to fill out cannot be done prior to August 21, since that’s when I have an appointment with him–and the there’s nothing available earlier because he’s on vacation next week and full up the next one.  Sigh sigh.

Beloved and I are also having paperwork to fill out for the insurance that pays our credit cards/loans when we are out of work or disabled.  Once again, this requires the doctor.  We will spend most of the appointment time doing paperwork.  At least he’s enthusiastic about getting us taken care of and will be most cooperative for the papers.  Another great doctor who takes really great care of his patients–and HATES the insurance companies with their arbitrary bullshit.

I did discover while having to WRITE in the answers on these forms that I cannot do that “fine manipulation” thing for very long.  Had to keep taking breaks.  Can I return to work?  Not really.  I also still need a 3-6 hour nap almost every day.  In addition to a pretty full 8 hours of sleep at night.  Hopefully the nap thing is just healing and will eventually go away.

We went to the pool today for the first time in about 3 weeks.  With temperatures that start with a “9” and a heat index that increases that to three digits, there’s no relief in swimming if you’re walking home through a wet blanket at roasting temperature.  And getting into the pool today was like walking into a slightly cool bathtub.  But it was necessary and we both felt better for having done it.  I also soaked up some Vitamin D.  I did not sunbathe.  I just laid out in the rays of the celestial orb, absorbing healthy vitamins and caressing warmth.  The fact that I’m a little browner does not mean that I am roasted and ready to serve.  LOL

I have worked this week to get my Pagan website transformed into a WordPress blog, with the pages of the website as pages in the blog, like I have here.  Mostly a lot of cut’n’paste, with some formatting to tend to, but I have finally got it finished.  Now I just have to find the book that goes with the study I am doing so that I can write and post the third chapter.  If you’re interested, here’s the link: http://www.cotcg.com/CrystalGroveOnline/

I was also most political this week, refusing to eat at Chik-Fil-A and posting a link to an amazing video that explained how to go in the restaurant and ask for water, then quote Scripture at them–posting that link on the actual “Chik-Fil-A Appreciation Day” FB page that Mike Huckabee started.  And somebody on the page actually liked my post!  I was afraid they’d send the cowz after me and I’d disappear into the chick’n factory, never to be seen again.  It may not have made a huge difference, but you can never tell where one small act can precipitate a landslide.  So I have to ask: are you registered to vote?  If not, please do.  And in November, VOTE.  I don’t care who you vote for, but we must be active participants in our government or we will end up as sheep led to slaughter.

And don’t even start me on the War on Women.  It’s there, it’s true.  And it’s not about reproductive rights.  It’s about making women second class citizens, with no voice in government and no chance or choice for their own lives, no opportunities for jobs, relegated back into the kitchen and just shut the fuck up.  It’s about a patriarchy that’s using religion to “put women in their proper place”–which is kneeling at the feet of their lords and masters, the men.  It’s “The Handmaiden’s Tale” and if you haven’t read it, you should.  It’s by Margaret Atwood and frighteningly prophetic.  The War On Women will lead to women as property, women as a decoration in the perfect household, with just enough education to be polite when the other men come over for a poker night and she makes them cold beers and hot sandwiches, then leaves them to their manly pursuits.  She can’t read, she can’t write, she doesn’t own property, doesn’t even own her body–her husband can rape her, over and over and it’s lawful.  A complete disregard of the intelligence, the ability, the RIGHT of women to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  I’ll ask again.  Are you registered to vote?  Why not?  Register.  And vote, vote for the people who will listen to you, who have your interests at heart, who will do as their constituents want instead of doing whatever the highest paying corporation offers them.

Sorry, I’ll get down off my soapbox.  I didn’t realize I was such a political creature until now…guess I have too much time on my hands and reading the news makes me too informed for my own good.  Sometimes, it just makes me want to smack my head against the wall.  It’s really amazing, some of the absolutely Gordian knot of twisted logic our elected representatives use to pass laws that treat women as objects to be controlled.    And I’m not even naming party affiliation because I believe it happens on both sides.  So when I rule the world….

Hoping to see my daughter and granddaughter before too long, just whenever the Lizard gets time off from work and can drive down.  No definite word about my son’s reenlistment and reassignment to teach in the school in NY (we hope).  We did have our friend here last weekend, and it was great to see her again–she’d been in Europe for a post graduation trip for a month, so it had been quite a while since we’d seen her.  She cooked for us, which is always appreciated–but just spending time with her, talking about everything and nothing in particular was lots of fun.

Nothing major planned on the horizon, just the usual doctor trips and such.  Hard to think that it’s August already and before you know it…2/3 of the year is gone.  I have done nothing much of note this year and I can’t even claim great enlightenment from sitting and meditating.  Just trying to take it a day at time, with both of us having our bad days and some good days and trying to find the point when the good outnumbers the bad.  I think we may be hitting the tipping point–mostly depends on where the money will come from for bills in the next two three months, or until LTD and or SSDI kicks in.  At least my car seats will tip back and we could sleep in the car.  Wonder where there’s free wifi I can get while parked on the street?  Living in the car would certainly be a minimalist lifestyle.

So other than the incredible stress about money, everything else is going reasonably well.  I still have foggy days, but mostly am alert and oriented, as the saying goes.  The pain is there, but manageable–and bearable as long as I don’t try to do things like be a lumberjack or Olympic gymnast.  And I need to close this off as I’ve been typing long enough that the right elbow and shoulder are beginning to indicate that it’s time to stop.  Before they scream at me, I shall.  Till the next time…and I go to finish my Gibson.  (Like a martini, but onions instead of olives.)

Namaste!